Thoughts

28 05 2009
  • Why can I reheat almost any gourmet meal in my microwave by just putting on a plate and in the microwave, yet to cook hot pockets I have to use a futuristic cardboard sleeve to protect this scientifically engineered snack.
  • They say there is no guide to parenting, if you are concerned about being an inexperienced parent, buy an HP Deskjet printer, it misbehaves, has an attitude, throws fits, must be monitored at all times, and occasionally acts out by printing a document with black text in bright red.
  • As disconcerting as it is that the bottle must remind me that my olive oil has never had sex, how is some of the oil “extra” virgin? Has it never even had thoughts of other olive oils? Has it taken a vow of celibacy?
  • It’s strange that the human body is the most complex thing any of us own, but almost anyone can make a human being with the stuff they have around the house, most anyone can create the most complex thing we know but only a select few can correctly install a printer (see above).
  • When I stand in a normal upright position my head is directly above my heels, so, why is someone said to be “head over heels” about someone, wouldn’t  that just mean they were standing normally?
  • Is it possible to be tired of having too much energy?
  • Is there anyone braver than the person who first decided to squeeze a cows utter and drink the stuff that came out? Except perhaps the person who saw an egg come out of a chickens backside and thought a couple of those would make a great breakfast.
  • The Scripps National Spelling Bee allows contestants from Canada to enter, is it possible the people running the competition have never had to give the definition of national?
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