In honor of March Madness, I have set up a bracket to find out which ‘celebrity’ will vanish into anonymity forever only to reappear on Celebrity Rehab or Celebrity Fit Club.
– Jon Gosselin defeats Tiger Woods in a fairly easy match, being the best golfer in the world while having affairs with Perkins waitresses still beats being the most famous advocate of Ed Hardy t-shirts and dead beat dads everywhere.
– Snookie beats Ben Roethlisberger fairly easily. Still having a pro football contract beats still having a spray tan.
– Justin Bieber defeats Octomom because she will continue to get fame when her kids all end up in therapy, also we love to see what is happening with the projects our money is funding.
– Kesha beats Miley Cyrus because there is only so much electronica pop people can listen to that includes non-sense lyrics about how popular she is.
– Snookie beats Jon Gosselin because Jon will be known as “Jon from Jon and Kate plus 8.” Snookie will be known as “that orange thing that used to be on TV.”
– Justin Bieber beats Spencer Pratt because Bieber cannot yet grow flesh colored beards and doesn’t have the extremely annoying personality it takes to be successful on MTV.
– Tila Tequilla beats Mike Tyson because, well Tyson still has that show on Animal Planet, Tila Tequilla has bizarre relationships with football players and myspace.
– Frank the Entertainer beats Kesha because, well Kesha has her own place.
– Justin Bieber beats Snookie because puberty can be a very harsh mistress for young stars. This is the Macaulay Culkin rule for picking pop-culture brackets.
– Frank the Entertainer beats Tila Tequilla because Tila Tequilla’s show got picked up for a second season, VH1 struggled to get through one season of Frank’s show.
-Frank wins the championship because Bieber still has potential, and he is already more famous than Frank ever was.