How to Work at a Fast Food Restaurant

5 04 2010

Do you have what it takes to work at a fast food restaurant? Here are a few tips if you are looking to pick up a job in these tough economic times at a fast food joint.

The first and most important attribute you must perfect is your self-esteem. If you feel like you could achieve something in life or have any type of aspirations or positive regard for your existence, then this may not be the career for you. Ideally, you will have a low self-esteem to begin with and with every passing day you will slowly begin to loath your existence, eventually you will address all customers with the disregard for human life that has been beaten into you through years of selling cheap beef day after day. If you greet customers with a peppy “how can I help you today?” Then you need to consider customer service, not the fast food industry. If, however, you greet customers with an emotionless “yeah, what do you want?” then this may be the career for you.

Once you have gotten the attitude down you need to make sure your appearance matches your career goals. Dyed hair in bright colors will make you look the part; lots of piercings will help your chance as well. The most important part of your appearance, though, is to appear unwashed. Not the Brett Farve unshaven look paired with the Brad Pitt ‘I worked really hard to get my hair to look unwashed’ look. Instead, you should be shooting for a look that makes customers wonder if you have lice or leprosy. If you cause people to fear that something from your person may fall into their food then you have mastered this step.

The next step is learning to take an order. In a perfect situation you would make a minimum of three mistakes per order. If they ask for coke, you would give them diet coke, if they ask for a hamburger you would give them a cheese burger, if they were highly allergic to onions you would replace their fries with onion rings. Perhaps the most important part of this step is to never admit your mistake. When a customer berates you look at them the way a cat does when its owner tells it to sit; defiantly yet uninterested.

When you have mastered this, the natural next step is the drive-thru. The key to this is to mutter in an inaudible mush of babel and non-sense. The best drive-thru operators cause the customers to contemplate the ethnicity of the employee until they pull up to the first window. This is especially important while you are repeating the order back to the customer, that makes the above step easier.

The final step is understanding condiments. If a person goes out of their way to ask for ketchup it is imperative that you give them no more than two packets. If, however, the person asks for no condiments then you must unload over twenty packets into their bag before you hand it off to them. Perhaps the best example of this practice happened to me last week at a Wendy’s when I ordered a salad and was given a number of ketchup packets. This was top notch work by that employee, hopefully he was soon to be a manager at this particular Wendy’s establishment.

If you have perfected these steps then there may be a fast food job waiting for you. If, however, you are too articulate or too clean then you may need to look elsewhere and hope that this economy turns around soon.

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