Things Never Said At…Wal-Mart

6 05 2010

Here are ten things no one has ever said while at Wal-Mart:

  • “This place is so ritzy.”
  • “The customer service here is top-notch, everyone is so friendly and not on the verge of suicide.”
  • “Everyone here is so attractive and well-dressed, all of the customers have such a good sense of style.”
  • “This place is so well-organized and easy to navigate.”
  • “Boy, we got in and out of there quickly and efficiently.”
  • “The greeters here are so youthful.”
  • “This cart works very well and has expedited my shopping.”
  • “The thing about the theory of general relativity is orbital paths contradict many things put forward by Newton and it also results in gravitational time dilation.”
  • “The guys that collect the carts from the parking lot really have a great work ethic and excel at their job.”
  • “These bathrooms sure are cozy.”



3 responses

6 05 2010

Indeed! I’ve been in a few where I was overdressed because I had all of my teeth.

7 05 2010

The best thing about Walmart is that there is no pressure. No “Oh, I should take a shower before I go out,”

No “I can’t wear pajamas out in public!”

No “I better change this shirt with the blood/food/whiskey stain on it before I go out to buy some tampons”

Anything goes at Walmart

9 05 2010
Steve Boehm

Having served a sentence working at the Mart of Wal, I can concur in all of these.

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