Lesser Philosophical Writings

The Missing Shade of Brown – David Hume

In the much-less-researched sister paper to his most famous idea “The Missing Shade of Blue,” that discussed Hume’s view of epistemology (he also drafted a work about shades of urine called ‘I-pissed-my-ology’), Hume writes about trying to describe the color of a rather intense bowel movement to his friends.

“Many will try to convince you to believe that all ideas are copied of similar impressions, however, I present a countering example. Upon ingesting sizeable portions of economically priced Mexican food I rushed to the restroom to defecate. Following this event, I was attempting to describe the elimination to a group of my colleagues and, though my colleagues had never seen this specific shade of fecal matter, I was able to tell them that the color lay somewhere along the gradient between deep bean burrito mahogany and foul hot-wing chestnut. Given only these two parameters, my colleagues were able to vividly picture the color, shade and hue of my elimination, despite the fact that they had never seen this specific shade of brown but were able to picture a shade of brown born not from recollection, but conceived merely by their own minds.”

The AIM – Plato

Here Socrates engages in a format, similar to the Republic, where he attempts to engage multiple other philosophers. Although this dialogue, unlike others, takes place in an AIM chat room, some philosophy historians believe it to be the alone@home room.

Socrates: Would it be fair to you well-minded men, to say that the appetitive part of the soul is that which lusts after, and seeks the pleasures of the body?
Blondebabe43: Where’s all the cute boys at?
Vrbrian222: 16/m any ladies wanna chat wit me?
Brooklynswagga212: Hey peoples!!!!!!!!
Blueeyesx119: 22/F lookin for a hot guy to chat
Socrates: What a clever way of consenting to my notions regarding the appetitive soul
Sweetannie19: hey guys a/s?
Hunk_henry: 22/m
Freddie2120: 14/m
Socrates: Forget this, you idiots aren’t helping at all
Socrates: 52/m

The Afterlife of God – Friedrich Nietzsche

Many people know the famous line for Nietzsche “God is dead,” but few know the full context of the line as it is presented in ‘The Afterlife of God.’

“God is dead, but I think he went to God heaven. He was a pretty good God. I bet His son takes over the family divinity; the Holy Spirit will probably cry nepotism though.”